gReeNaDDicT………!!!!!

Aloha..!

It’s been a while, right? Since I wrote my last blog.

Do you believe that a lot of things can happens in just such a short time?

I’m not talking about good things here..I mean..those bad things really happenned just out of the blue. And I find myself so hard finding a way to cope with these things.

Isn’t it ironic when all these years, you think you know someone..but then one day suddenly you’re just a stranger to each other? How’s that happenned? Last week, there were times when I was alone, thinking about this, again and again. I didn’t get any answer, any explanation. That’s why I laughed. Yeah, that’s right. I’m laughing at myself. How did years of knowing and understanding each other, ended in just an hour? in 60 minutes?  It’s even less than 24 hours, for God sake! Where have those years gone? All those laughs and tears, and the sharing, the silly-stupid things we’ve done together..just gone like that?  Funny, right? Not in a good way of course..What went wrong? Is it me? Or both of us? Or maybe it has always been like this? We ignore and avoid talking about our problems, lying to ourselves, pretend everything is gonna be alright, but the fact that, it’s not? I think it’s just a matter of time we both ruin this friendship. And me? I’m just pulled the trigger faster.

Do I blame her? At first…yeah! I’ve been very supportive for her, I do anything to help her, to comfort her, when noone cares about her. And this is how she treat me? So, yeah..I blame her. But after thinking about it, I knew that it’s not just her fault. I should be more patient, more supportive, or understand better than before. I’m 27 years-old now and people with that age is expected to be mature. And I should act like one. I knew she hurted me like hell, but there’s no reason I can say those humiliating things. She is not the one to blame. It’s her fault. And it’s my fault too. We’re both responsible for ruining this friendship.

Do I hate her? God..I wish..! It will be easier for me to face this if I just hate her. But the truth is..I don’t hate her. I’m so far from hating her. It’s kinda funny right?

But you know what I think? I think it’s ok to be angry at someone, but to hate someone? No! I wouldn’t do that. I never give hate a chance. Nothing’s good come from Hate. It’s not healthy. So, hating people even though they treat me like crap? No thanks but I don’t do that.

Well, where exactly am I regarding this situation? I’m so sick and tired of this angry and I don’t want to feel it anymore. I’m over this. I’m done with this anger. I have to let this thing go. So I think here I am..in a ‘forgive-is-to-forget-stage’. I forgive her. That’s it. It’s really as simple as it sounds. And if I may say, it’s kinda relieve..because I can feel good again about everything..

So, I want to say BIG THANKS to my mom, my dad, and both of my sisters..for always cheering me up in your own way, though maybe all of you have no idea how you’ve been comforting me in all of my bad times. For always been there for me to teach me to never give up so easily and to stand up and think smart everytime I have a problem. You all are the reason why I can always keep my feet on the ground. I am miles far away from you..and I know we’re all going to meet each other anytime soon (God!! I’m counting days!!!), but I can wait to hug and kiss you all. I love you all!!!

Mein schatz..my Daniel..hmm..what can I say? You make my day colorful everyday. Mentang2 udah ketularan jahil yaaaa? Aq dijahilin teyuuuzzz…Hmm..have I said ‘I love you’ today? Hahahaha!!! Love you, syank..Mmmuuuaaaahhh!!!!!

Emil…don’t you think it’s amazing for us to be on the same road until now? I think we should celebrate this my dear..hihihi..18 years!!! See? It’s worth celebrating!! Semoga 18+18+18+18+18dst…qta masih tetep solid! Solid as a rock!!! Cieee, hihihi…Salam ma Jimmy!

Emy, mungkin karena qta udah tau banget satu sama lain sampe kadang2 qta saling tau apa yang ada di pikiran masing2 without even bother to say it. Your craziness always turns my mourning into laughing. Walau kl udah ketemu bantal pasti langsung tidur, huh…!!!! Anyway..cut the crap, just want to say….loe seharusnya bersyukur punya sohib kaya gw!!! Hahahaha!!!! Awet terus ya ma Daus..!!!

Irna, Kiky, Bul2, Rini..counting days? Can’t wait to see you all..!!! I can’t think of anything!!! For Bul2 or Ira..are you seriously asking me to bring 10 pounds of mango from Jakarta to Siantar? Are you freaking kidding me??? Hahahaha…yang bener aja buuuulll…Gw aja ngusahain banget ga usah bawa barang banyak2 biar koper gw ga berat, hihihi. Loe malah minta dibawain mangga?? Tega!!!

Ita, Azta, Lina, Pelie, Irma, Aztie, Endah…qta bener2 harus bikin rusuh lagi neeehh..It’s been a while, girls!!! Are we loosing our mojo? Well then, we have to take it back!!!

To all 99-ers of smundu yang di Jakarta..jangan lupa kl di siantar nanti qta ada acara yaa..barbeque!! at my place!! 30 December! Be there!!!

Buat temen2 lain yang ga gw sebutin (maklum, daya ingat gw ini kumat2an..kadang ingatannya bagus, kadang ingatannya parah. Tanda2 penuaan dini kah? Hihihi)..maap yaa…maaaapp..kalian masing2 punya arti tersendiri buat gw. Trust me.

Mungkin natal masih beberapa hari lagi..but, just in case I have no time to say this, in person or in any way..please allow me to say in advance…

Selamat Natal semuanya…semoga hati kita bisa lebih ‘bersih’ lagi, bisa lebih saling mengasihi satu sama lain yaaa..Maafin aq atas semua perkataan dan perbuatan yang tanpa kusadari menyinggung perasaan temen2. Buat teman2 yang sakit, semoga diberikan kesembuhan. Buat yang sedang punya masalah, apapun itu..serahkan semuanya pada Tuhan, we do our best, and let God do the rest. I also hope that walaupun banyak yang mengecewakan kita, we never give up on love. Once again, Selamat Natal. Jesus Bless!

And as this year is going to end soon…Time really runs fast, doesn’t it? I bet you all have your own resolution for the upcoming new year 2009. Ayo siap2 buka lembaran baru..Jangan takut untuk ‘melangkah’. Lets make a theme for 2009.

2009: A BRAND NEW ME!!!!

(notes: of course in a good way ya…)

And WE CAN BE A BETTER PERSON EACH AND EVERYDAY..!!!!

Have a really…really..really nice day!!!